


(Still trying to find that perfect title so bear with me)

by susannahlilly



Category: Arma Angelus, Fall Out Boy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-16 03:31:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13627695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/susannahlilly/pseuds/susannahlilly
Summary: Susannah goes back over the events of her life to try and figure out when everything started going down and what, or who, is the cause of it.





	(Still trying to find that perfect title so bear with me)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all :) I’m very excited for my new work and it may be slow at first but bear with me because it’ll get good (I hope). It’ll probably have a lot of shit but I plan to make the end happy so :) Enjoy! Also go check out my other work (it’s a Wentzman fic)

There was this one night a few years ago, my freshman year of high school, where I had this really strange dream. I was fourteen. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. But sometimes now, I look back on that dream and wonder if that was when all my problems started. A dream can’t be the reason for how shitty my life is now, can it? But then what awakened this restlessness inside my soul? If not the dream, there’s only one thing I can think of.

I met Pete about half a year later. Joe introduced him to me. He spent about an hour bragging about my musical talents as if he was trying to convince Pete of something, and not only was this extremely embarrassing, but the fact that Pete Wentz was one of the most attractive guys I’d met didn’t help how flustered I got. He wasn’t like all the awkward, annoying, disgusting boys at my high school. But the fact was, he wasn’t a boy at all. He had to be at least in his twenties. I later found out he was twenty-one at the time. Despite all of this though, I was able to make it through Joe’s embarrassing speil, and in the end I realized Pete was talking to me. I tried to ignore the blush creeping into my face, and it took me a second thinking of how to respond when I realized that I hadn’t even heard what he said. I blinked a few times, and he laughed.

“I don’t bite you know,” he smiled, and I laughed uncomfortably before he asked again, “so how old are you?”

“Uh- almost fifteen?” At the time I wanted to disappear, I was convinced I sounded like the world’s most pathetic dumbass. But I now know Pete didn’t care about all of that. Back then, I didn’t know Pete at all. Now, I see right through him.

“Joe, she’s just a kid,” Pete turned to look at Joe as if I wasn’t even there, and I have to say that had pissed me off a little, and nothing sparks my confidence like anger. 

“Don’t you think that’s a little close minded to put someone in a box because of their age?” I had countered back quickly before Joe could answer Pete.

Pete had seemed a little surprised at first, but then laughed. “I was beginning to wonder if you could speak for yourself.”

“Anyone can speak for themselves. Some people just don’t value themselves enough to, or they’re just pussies.” I almost wish I didn’t open my mouth, but then that would make me what I had just described to Pete.

Joe just seemed to watch in amusement as if he knew he needed to let it play out, and Pete seemed to have this weird spark in his eyes, as if he was actually curious now. “Ever played in front of a crowd?”

I had thought it was a bit of a weird question, but slowly nodded in response. “At my piano recitals and stuff.” 

I remember that smirk he got on his face- one of amusement. My cheeks would have probably turned bright red if I didn’t have that already natural blush. “Performing live on stage in a rock band isn’t even close to the same, I can tell you that now, kid.”

I had almost told him not to call my kid, but thought better if it since really, I was a kid. So I just shrugged in response. I don’t remember much about anything after that. At the time it was just life, I never thought twice about the people I met or the words I said. Why is it that now I go back into time and reply everything over and over, trying to solve this insolvable problem. 

So this leads me to my point. I’m going to go over everything just one more time, for clarity. Because I can’t remember being this confused in my life. And I never thought I’d be as fucked up as Pete Wentz. But now I think I’m worse.


End file.
